Friday, 11 May 2007

Guess who pooped everywhere

ihatedogsihatedogsihatedogsihatedogsihatedogsihatedogsI hate dogs I hate dogs I hate dogs I hate dogs I hate dogs I hate dogs I HATE DOGS


That is all.


gwensmom said...


mem said...

If Miss Kemp ever asks me, I will tell her the honest truth that you are a Baptist. My junior high Sunday School teacher would be likewise rather mortified, I imagine, if she knew how I really feel.

My karate classes are freakin huge now. I feel like a chicken with my head cut off. We have so many different levels of ability that it's difficult to keep everyone moving and interested. I'm going to be learning a lot about teaching in the coming months.

I will tell them they're going on a vacation to Saskatchewan, the bustling hub of civilization. They'll be so pleasantly surprised to be working in Char's House of Sweatshop Horrors, cleaning all of the stuff off your floor. ... Including the dog poop.

Also, my sister majored in psychology (nearly a mortal sin, I know), so I should not have to pay for any psychoanalysis.

The Lord tells me many things, most of which are like the thunders in heaven—unlawful to be uttered.

Your question did remind me of the Irishman in Braveheart, though, which makes me smile.

mem said...

And I wouldn't have any idea if you were digging around old threads on Nervousness...seeing as how I haven't actually ready any of them. ;)

mem said...

Did your posts on NNNNNNEss (Sorry, couldn't help myself, it's late in this part of the world) involve child slavery or piss-poor grammar? You'd have to combine them both in practice before you beat out Paul for the worst of sinners, I think. ;)

Which definition of liberal are you going on here? The "OMG you're unsaved and going to H-E double-hockey-sticks" (do you like how I related that so tangentially to hockey? At 2 AM, I feel like I'm doing pretty well) type, or some other kind? I've had my doubts about her salvation, but that was generally before she got to college anyway. I hope she doesn't follow these comment threads.

I feel as though this comment is missing something. I'm sure you'll supply the lack, regardless. You are better this time of night than I am.

Oh, at least part of it was that I watched half of Army of Darkness tonight. I have two words for you: boom stick.

mem said...

Wait, wait. You said you're the worst Christian in history, and then equated liberals with people who are bad and horrible. Does that make you a liberal? Or am I treading on the same ground as wondering why you have so many shoes?

I was awake at two for reasons that are explained in my latest entry: I was hanging out with friends, getting beaten in games and seeing the boom stick movie.

Getting up at five sounds pretty atrocious. And by atrocious, I mean stinky like feet.

Last night, I thought of something totally awesome to write about T'Waffle, but I have forgotten it while I slept. Regardless, I was only saying that one of the qualifications for being the worst Christian in history was bad grammar—I don't think I directly accused you of it. Yet, anyway.

mem said...

I see how it is; first, you insult my age, then my future-telling powers. I already told you that the Lord tells me many things. Just wait until I break out my gravitas, and then you'll be sorry. It's more deadly than the boom stick.

Also, I agree that your shift work is Le Suck. I am actually quite fortunate in my position—the boss doesn't much care what I do or when I come in, as long as the job's done and the customers are happy. But I still feel like an idiot there most days.

And I'm pretty confident that I don't want to know what t'waffle means. I'm afraid of apostrophes.

mem said...

Two things: first, we are experiencing a thunderstorm, and that is awesome. Second, I just realized that you making fun of me gives me a great excuse to shave no longer.

mem said...

I apologize in advance for the length of this comment.

ARG, starting sentences with "and" is not illegal, no matter how many of your teachers (English or otherwise) insisted on the contrary. What usually happens is that people break up lists. And clauses. That's what makes sentences into fragments. But regardless, bad grammar is necessary for creativity. Good grammar is like free verse: it provides no expectation, so there's no way to tell where the high points are.

Here in the US, we recently declared it legal to split infinitives. An amusing story about this: GB Shaw wrote a play, and his editor purged it of all split infinitives. He was so incensed that he called for the editor's immediate resignation, saying that it would be of no consequence if he were "to go quickly, or to quickly go." (While I was very amused by this, my English teacher was not at all.)

Another amusing story, this relating to facial hair. My father has NEVER been cleanshaven in my entire life. (Ten years is a long time to wear a beard. :-P ;) My mother's grandma was of the mind that men with beards have secrets to hide and disapproved mightily of my father's, though they seem to have gotten along well enough otherwise.

Now my dad cares for his beard manually—with scissors. One year he saved all of his trimmings and sent them to my great-grandmother for her birthday.

It says a lot about my family that she willed them back when she died many years later.

Also, I knew you would get around to making fun of my youth sometime. My nickname among the German majors I lived with was "Junge," which translates "boy." If I can avoid pulling out my can of gravitas on you, I will; but no guarantees if we ever pounce on someone about eternal security. ;)

I think your dress-making inspired my mother to hem one of hers the past couple days. (Back in the day, she earned a small amount from sewing.) She is wearing a new one for Mother's Day.

I hope you do not come back and tell me that my face inspired your mother to shave. (I do suppose that was a bit low. I may have to do penance twice this week. ;)

mem said...

I confess I was thinking of that self-same can when I wrote that.

My grammatical standards are a bit like the weather: unpredictable. Come to think of it, grammar is a bit like the weather in another respect, since it seems to be what I talk about when I have nothing else to talk about. I guess it doesn't have quite the universal appeal that the weather does in that respect.

mem said...

re: hair. I promise you I will never grow my hair (face or mop-top) long to cover up my baldingness. I seriously thought about shaving my head last time I got it cut, though. (Mom would not have been pleased.)

re: pre-emptive commenting. My towel wasn't working last night—I couldn't tell if you were at work or not. My retrospectometer was going full bore, however, saying something like, "I bet her comment was short because you kind of insulted her mother." (Parentage jokes on the Intarweb can be dangerous.)

re: grammar. Let's be realistic: do I ever have anything to talk about? That's what gets me into trouble so often.

Also, blunt family members can be pretty nice. My family is pretty nice—and I mean that (well, aside from the fact that my almost-thirty brother still gives me dead arms every time we see each other more than two days running)—but a certain willingness to be impolite is a good thing. You gotta know when it's time to do it (kind of like bending grammar rules).

Anonymous said...

You commented on Purgatorio about a comment that I left about homeschooling. I'm not sure how homeschooling detracts from the Gospel, when by homeschooling I'm trying to make sure my children are not only biblically literate but also truly taught a classical liberal education and critical thinking skills. Public school is too political these days to teach children how to think. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I share in your passion. I too hate dogs. I can't stand that dog owners are always thrusting their dogs upon you and that if you don't want their dogs near you, they get offended. I hate that they call dogs their children. I hate that dog owners are continually petitioning the government for off-leash dog parks. Their mangy mutts should always be on a leash. I should be able to walk down the street without be messed with by your dog. I don't even like to go outside anymore because of all the dogs. I hate dogs too.

Jeremy H.

Char said...

Jeremy H;

I don't know where else to respond to you so I'll do so here. Simply put-homeschooling is (or should be) a non-issue, and I would much rather see the energy that is expended on the debate over it used to preach Christ and him crucified. Why divide over issues that are not vital and can not have normative standards? Homeschool or don't homeschool, but preach the Gospel always.

I am not a fan of dogs, especially breathe-bark dogs, that is little dogs that must bark incessantly in order to live. I wrote this post after my brother's dog defecated all over the floor after eating garbage or something. He is in the happy hunting grounds now.